Monday, 24 June 2013


The people seem relieved
The rain has fallen and quenched the heat
Chirping birds wake the morn
The Sun is out bringing the dawn 

I am a face not unique
From amidst the crowd, a soul
I see no Sun, the rain falls hard
And this haggard self stands alone

I have a pain that nags me so
I have a stereotype to break
I live in fear everyday
I'm mocked and beaten, in terror I quake

They say a roof over your head,
A love, can beat times tough
But when you can only see through broken glass
Can food, money and family be enough?

A thousand suffering eyes
Look incredulously up at me
They recount the blessings I have in life
And yet, and yet...
I can't seem to get free

I want to rattle my shackles and scream from my lungs
Till the world hears my pleas
I will not be guilted by
The 'luxuries' I get, 'with ease'

Why is it that one negative thought, sometimes,
Cancels out every positive emotion?*
You risk your happiness and peace of mind for that one cause
Such is the passion, such is the devotion!

You know you are right; the world couldn't care less
The promised tomorrow becomes a drone
And that's why the pain gnaws away all colours around
Till I stand in the dark, writhing and alone

That's why the rain weighs me down
The storm is a blizzard through my heart
The desire to be happy flutters weakly
Under the Fire that tears me apart

The birds of dawn spread their wings wide
Their freedom is more than I can ever take
I climb a high-rise building and perform the final act
The empty, hopeless, deluded life - Couldn't leave. Couldn't stay.

My wistful eyes tell a story of many
Yet, they condemn me for my decision
The thing is -
Everyone's on to the emptiness 
But it takes guts to acknowledge the hopelessness of the situation.**

*Inspired by the TV series Sex and the City; season 5 (2002), episode Critical Condition, 
'Carrie Bradshaw: Why is it that we only believe the negative things people say about us, no matter how much evidence to the contrary? A neighbour, a face, an ex-boyfriend can cancel out everything we thought was true. When it comes to life and love, why do we believe our worst reviews?'

**Taken from The Revolutionary Road (2008), 'John Givings: Hopeless emptiness. Now you've said it. Plenty of people are onto the emptiness, but it takes real guts to see the hopelessness.'